so far

there is a pain ~ of memory
there is a stain from youth
that stealthily
creeps up on me
to speak ~ an ancient truth
in whispers first~ and then a scream
the verses ~ so unkind
recite the past
until at last
it overruns my mind

there isn’t time enough between
the crimes that were ~ and now…
eternities
removed from these
seem insufficient ~ how
can I be free of woundings past
that still defy a scar?
it’s so surreal
these things to feel
when I have come so far

Shadow

in the full
of the moon
shadows fall
to the ground…
like proverbial tree
in the forest
~ no sound ~
like a hope
unfulfilled
or another dream
slain
like a sacrifice
spilled
or a sacrilege
stain
all my soul
is lain bare
in the opulent glow
in the full
of the moon
I am fallen

free

I breathe in
oncoming storms
to calm my anxious soul…
gusts of wind
to brush aside
intrusive, transient thoughts…
and wait upon
the lightning’s glare,
its luminescent glow
casts about
makes shadows dance
until at last ~ I’m caught!
tossed into
the atmosphere
a stranger sort of cloud
suddenly set free
beyond realities allowed

hidden

so the darkness still haunting my threshhold
insidious torment of soul
perched waiting to satiate yesterday’s hell
perfidious fate to unfold

and no matter i keep to the castle
despite every sin told and tossed
no broad absolution was granted to me
enlightenment came at a cost

for the grief my heart couldn’t let go of
unbidden was taking on form
and demons i thought had been totally slain
i found hidden within the storm

empty

dawn
batting an eyelash moon at the sun
that has not yet risen
mind
empty of thoughts
and dreams half forgotten
no bold revisions
space
between last night’s owl
and the mourning doves cries
is filled with silence
and I
sit enchanted
with no reasons why
nor purpose recanted

you’re right ~ I’m strong

you’re right ,
i’m strong and powerful.
‘cause no one sees these tears
strip flesh from bone.
my heart yet burns,
like molten lava
pouring through the fissures of
my soul…but just
when i’m alone

you’re right.
i’m strong ~ you’ll never know.
i cloak my tear-stained cheeks with night,
bite back the pain your moods inflict,
make gifts of smile and
kindnesses,
while yet your daggers pierce
my breast.

you know you’re right.
i’m strong ~ you know…
a spider’s web of silken thread
that holds its delicate design
despite the hurricanes that blow.

oh yes, i’m strong.
but weary now.
today i nearly cried outloud
and right in front of you!

instead i quickly gathered up
the fragments of my shattered
expectations.
hid them
in the folds of my
pretended non-challance.

“a simple walk outside” ~ i lied.

but no, this strong soul
full speed fled…
the nearest park and
flung her body, heart first on the ground
and bled,
a sea that shuddered forth
in waves … a flood!

and so you see,
you’re right, ~ i’m strong
if being strong can mean
i hide my pain.

unseen

that I be empty
like the sky
so moon and starlight pour right through
so wind
unhindered as a song
within a silence
touches you.
that there no substance be
of me
to interfer
or contravene
quintessence, with its
urgent pace,
tho similarly quite unseen

collapsed

suddenly
eternity collapsed to
all at once

never was no more ~
forever
whittled to a point

space and I
fell in upon ourselves and
disappeared

consciousness and mind
forgotten
that I might be free

who i am

this mind that calls
this body ‘home’,
these thoughts that wander there,
no ‘me’ to whom
such things belong
just emptiness

compare ~
a role, a character unfurled
a squander on a stage
no actor, once the lines are heard
no one to turn the page,
no matter,,,

expectations nonexistent,
like my self~
a nevermind mirage
a distant glance
set on a shelf

no such a thing as me
nor such a thing as
all of this
illusions,
never true
penultimate to nonesuch Bliss

tapestry

we are the stuff
that’s spun into threads
on the warp and the weft
of our own
tapestry
with embroidered designs
made of dreams
in our minds
telling stories of life
as we think
it to be